Stress is something that affects everyone, usually by making them snappy and ill, and even causing death. For the rare few that properly 'use' stress, the world becomes an Aladdin's cave of potential. This book teaches you the secrets of controlling and using stress to your advantage. • What causes stress • Who is prone to stress • Understanding the enemy • Understanding others • Why we always hurt the ones we Love • Our immediate reactions to stress • Symptoms of short term and long term stress • Learning coping mechanisms to deal with stress • How to use stress as an energy force • Relief from stress This book will transform your life.

Welcome to A Book For the Seriously Stressed (so called because people kept asking me, ‘So what’s the new book about then Geoff?’ and I kept replying, ‘It’s a book for the seriously stressed’). My sole intention with this book is to offer solace to those of you out there who may be suffering the consequences of fear and stress. It is not a motivational book – though it does motivate in places – neither is it meant to be. Rather it is a book for the seriously stressed. I hope to offer solace in big chunks by explaining the mechanics of fear and why the feeling of wanting to run away from confrontational moments in life is both expected and natural. We all feel fear; it’s how we deal with it that determines where our lives might lead. My intention is to put a name to some of the problems our species face, because to name something gives us a certain amount of power over it. Most people misread, and therefore mismanage, fear. Subsequently, they live a metaphoric prison existence in a comfort cell under the wardenship of ignorance and surrounded by bars of fear. Man was not fashioned to kill man and yet we are living in a world where war, our greatest expression of violence, is not only frequent but also seen as normal. Recent surveys carried out on human warfare have demonstrated not only man’s antipathy toward self-destruction but also his predilection to run from conflict as opposed to standing and fighting. It is evident that when our survival is threatened or we feel that it is, our impulse to turn and run is far stronger than t is to stand and fight. So much so that if the flight option is negated, the greater majority of us would rather risk death than kill another of the same species. Either obliviously or deliberately, we become conscientious objectors at the point of pulling the trigger. The survey intimated that the greater majority of soldiers fired their bullets into the ground, high into the air or they did not shoot at all. This is what I call the Minority Rule; the minority of soldiers in major human conflicts are responsible for the majority of the killings. In the Second World War for instance, it was reported that only 15–20 per cent of combat infantry were willing to fire their rifles...

 

Understanding the enemy is predominantly what this book is all about. They say that knowledge is power: in this case it certainly is. We need, at the very least, a basic understanding of our own bodies if we are going to get through this life in one piece. Unfortunately people seem to know more about the engines in their cars than they do the internal workings of their own bodies. Most of us go through a whole lifetime without ever understanding ourselves, or others for that matter. The good thing about understanding yourself is that, once you do, you automatically have a very good understanding of others because biologically we are all made of the same stuff. Understanding myself had a profound influence on the way I handled potentially violent situations in my capacity as a nightclub doorman. As a young bouncer I didn’t know the first thing about myself. What I knew didn’t extend far beyond what I saw in the shaving mirror every morning. The real me, the one hiding on the inside, was almost a complete stranger. Before the doors – and whenever a violent situation reared its ugly head – my instinct was always to run away from confrontation. With the benefit of hindsight I understand this to be a natural and expected feeling. Without retrospect I felt like a coward. I felt completely alone, the only one in the world who felt this scared. My ignorance created a lot of self-doubt. I equated wanting to run away with weakness. As a beginner I allowed these very strong emotions to overwhelm me and I ran away from most of life’s confrontational moments. I was the running man! And each time I ran I made it harder for myself to make a stand the next time fear came calling. With a history of defeat behind me failure became my norm. To overcome this lack I set about confronting my fears. I developed my will until it was strong enough to override the inclination to leg it every time I sensed fear. However, I still struggled with the discomfort of adrenalin and subsequently, as a fledgling doorman, I would attack my antagonists as soon as I could, usually too soon, just to get it over and done with. Customers who just wanted to vent a bit of aggression in my direction got a punch in the eye (or worse) for their troubles. I became feared very quickly, and at the time I thought this was a good thing. Now I can see how awful and also how stupid I was to think that people fearing me led to people respecting me. In a reciprocal world such as ours, fear attracts nothing but more fear and its ugly handmaiden violence. Basically, every time I felt fear I hit someone. I was the proverbial caveman, with an ugly club as my means of communication. Because of this I acquired a reputation as a hair trigger, a man who hit first and asked questions later. As I became more familiar with adrenalin I developed a profound understanding of its mechanics. I learned how to handle anticipation for longer and longer periods. Sometimes, in the case of threats of reprisal, for months at a time. I also realised, from talking to the other doormen, that we all feel the same, to varying degrees, some just hide it better than others. So I no longer associated the release of adrenalin and the subsequent feelings with cowardice, or even with fear. It was simply a biological preparation for what my brain thought was a life or death battle with the elements. It was natural, as natural as wanting to go to the bathroom, or feeling hungry or thirsty...

 

Intr Introduction oduction 9 Chapter One: Understanding the Enemy 19 Chapter Two: Understanding the Other – It’s Not P Personal! ersonal! 25 Chapter Three: The Inverted U Hypothesis 34 Chapter Four: We e Always Hurt the Ones W We e L Love ove 53 Chapter Five: What Causes Stress? 73 Chapter Six: Who is P Prone rone to Stress? 85 Chapter Seven: Immediate R Reactions eactions to Stress 95 Chapter Eight: Symptoms of Short- Term erm and L Long- ong- Term erm Stress 136 Chapter Nine: The Defence Mechanisms 170 Chapter Ten: Coping Mechanisms 194 Chapter Eleven: The Buck Stops Here – The Safe Surrogate R Release elease 200 Chapter Twelve: The Id, The Ego and The Superego 207 Chapter Thirteen: Relief elief from Stress 220 Chapter Fourteen: Professional rofessional Help 242 Epilogue: A R Room oom at the Inn 244 Bibliography 249 Appendix 252

A wide-ranging book and a reassuring read for anyone feeling stressed. Guaranteed to make you take a fresh look at your approach to life.

 

A superb book . . .a very good commonsense look at stress . . . the secret ways to harness the beast called stress are shared with the reader in an easy to read and understanding way. This book will seriously transform your life!

 

Geoff Thompson made violence his profession working as a doorman at some of Britain’s roughest clubs. As the holder of the rank of 6th Dan black belt in Japanese karate, 1st Dan in Judo and equally well qualified in other martial arts he is a TOUGH man.

As well as many books he has written a film script, Watch My back, based on his life and a stage play, One Sock, that inspired The Royal Court Theatre in London’s West End to invite him into their exclusive writers’ group.

In 1997 Geoff was flown out to the United States by Chuck Norris to teach at his international seminar. As an ambassador for the martial arts, Geoff has appeared on national and international TV and Radio - for a couple of years as the BBC Good Morning self defence expert - talking about and, giving advice on self protection and related subjects.

His work is both innovative and thought provoking. He is currently Sub Editor of Martial Arts Illustrated and contributory editor of Men’s Fitness magazine.He has published several articles for mainstream glossy magazines such as Loaded, Maxim, FHM, Arena, Esquire and has published several articles with GQ Magazine (Britain-Paris).

He has also appeared many times on mainstream TV including ITV’s Martial Arts: The Real Story televised in two - one hour programmes. As well as his books and videos He was Martial Arts choreographer for the production 'Hard Fruit' at the Royal Court, London and winner of the EMDA Award for the screenplay of the film 'Watch My Back'.

In 2004 Geoff's short film Brown Paper Bag won a BAFTA.

 

A Book for the Seriously Stressed by Geoff Thompson
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